Also, i cant drink cold drinks and touch things from the freezer. My hands are slightly numb so my professional typing skills are now blupp.. and its Summer time.....missing my ice lollies. Every year, at this time, i stock up on my Soleros. Nope not this year. Other than that.....its okay.
I am on my eighth cycle, and the ninth is gonna be the big blast off apparently. Then who knows, more tests and that dreaded operation to put my poor little bowel back, which is still all alone in a lab somewhere in Leeds missing its little friends the bladder and liver.
i cant even go away this year. At the beginning of the year i made New Years Resolutiuon for the first time. One, to get back into the dating scene, the other to travel to various European cities, and the third was to back to University, well, this sudden change of events on the January the second has put a stop to that. I dont even know what i am doing tomorrow, next week and so on and i am having problems thinking so far ahead. Having cancer is all you think about when they first give you the news. First thing you feel is DENIAL. I am still in that stage. It feels i am living someone else's life. And with all the operations i am having and the plates they put you back together with, i feel like i am Frankenstein's Monster. And what has happened to my sexy abs. Currently, still bulgily bloated, and my muscles are finding it hard to heal whilst the rest of body is going through the chemotherapy via the Hickman line on my chest. I look like a Borg gone wrong. Dont get me started on the fact i cant wear all my sexy new tops i bought in Hawaii. None fit me right now, and that stoma pouch is bulging out some days.
Posts
